I Failed Crossfit….Again

Kristeen Irigoyen-Hernandez aka Lady2Soothe

Thank you Dr. Julie TwoMoon


I joined and quit Crossfit (for the second time in my life) last month. My previous stint was two plus years, this one: 3.5 weeks. Now, before I get hate mail from Crossfit lovers, please know this, I appreciate Crossfit, I understand its premise, and I do believe it can work for many, just not for me. I suppose the bigger issue is why I joined; because I thought somehow, if I just pushed harder, I could conquer my body once and for all.

I grew up chubby, I solved that problem by finding anorexia in my teens, not surprisingly adding a few more problems along the way like loss of cycle and malnutrition. Over time, I trended away from the restrictive eating of my teens, into more logical patterns like veganism (not done well) and vegetarianism back to omnivorous consumption and around again. I vacillated between being obsessive and totally lax. As per the custom of American women, I somehow effortlessly lost about 40 pounds before getting married, marveling at how the seamstress had to keep taking in my wedding dress up to the day of the ceremony. Of course, I got pregnant with my first child about 1 month later and started gaining.

I have had 3 children, and after each, the “battle” to lose weight became more and more and more. I have through the years continued to have the same conversation with myself: If I eat so clean why do I struggle so much? Followed by maybe it is time to stop struggling and let what will be, be, followed by screw that, I want to be one of those really hot mom’s at the pool, I just need the perfect exercise, more supplements/herbs/vitamins and a really strict diet and it will be all right.

When I went back to Crossfit this time, it was for a boot camp: less weights, few complicated movements and lots of cardio. I got drawn back in, into calorie counting, diet evaluation: “maybe zone would be better for me, perhaps I should try paleo again”never mind the two years I didn’t eat carbs and never slept, was up all night peeing, was angry often and also didn’t lose weight. I was drawn back into a headspace of just work harder, push harder, forget the fatigue, muscle soreness, the way running in the dark around an industrial building makes you feel unsafe and as if you were going to trip any moment. Forget the swelling in your knees, ankles, the fact your Chiropractor can’t even adjust you because your spine is so locked down, forget that you are seeking massage not for pleasure but for pain management, forget that for the first time in years, you just took a Tylenol.

Then, my back went out, and I was stuck on the couch in pain, not moving, and feeling the familiar sensations of injury creeping back once again. It was like a rewind of all the times I had pushed myself to move not because movement was medicine, but because the little voice in the background was saying: you just aren’t dedicated enough, you just haven’t tried hard enough, you are too focused on the pain.

I started to ask myself: Why did I really go back? The real answer wasn’t weight loss, it wasn’t fitting into skinny jeans, it was feeling young in movement, body and muscle, it was feeling physically responsive and agile and nourished. Nothing I had been doing in the previous 3 weeks had made me feel this way, if anything, I felt rigid, off balance, and stuck. So, I stopped, and then I began to heal.

It took a month to unwind what had been wound up again: a month where I still cajoled myself to move because if I didn’t I was going to be fat forever, a month where I wondered if not that, then what? But I noticed a few weeks ago, an urging to move because with movement by body felt free flowing and open, an urge to move because movement spurred clean energy, an urge to move out of love for my physical self, my cells, my muscle and my organs.

This story has been playing so long in my life, when I started with my first DNA Activation, one of the things on my priority list of what it would mean to heal was restoration to my metabolism such that maintaining a good weight would be an effortless process. I think back to the me that wrote that and I hug her, for despite needing to heal from anger, and sadness, from a sense of fear, from needing to heal my relationships, to be more present as a mother, I was looking at my outside and telling my beautiful miracle of a body it was not enough.

Healing often isn’t what we thought it was going to be, I am reminded of that daily in the people I sit with, in the stories I hear, in the life I live. That place where we change our perspective from an outside-in model to an inside-out one is precious and profound. Funny thing is, we won’t just do it once, we will do it repeatedly, tiny shifts in perception, barely noticeable to the outside world at first, a subtle return of compassion and joy, tolerance, flexibility, ease, movement, acceptance and truth.

I am grateful for the me that walked into the Crossfit gym in October, and for the one who listened to my body when it said ENOUGH! Perhaps this is the year, when more of us find our inside voices, and traverse the chasms separating us from the truth speaking always, and find inside a resilient resonance unlike any we have heard before, and allow that to propel us to a more beautiful life than we ever believed possible.
Happy New Year!
Dr. Julie

Oceti Sakowin ~ Stories from the Frontlines ~ Nov. 21, 2016

Kristeen Irigoyen_Hernandez aka Lady2Soothe

Reminding people not everything is bad; stories of truth, of connecting with old friends and making new ones, learning new skills, showing respect and integrity, love, laughter, fun and working together as a community. PLEASE share these stories with you friends and acquaintances; the world needs to know, not only about the atrocities being committed but of the good which has come from the enormity of this stance against evil. Sincerely,Kristeen Irigoyen-Hernandez

Oldest Native American drumming video ever
Rare and old footage of Native American drumming from 1894 in a tribute to our Native American brothers and sisters.

11-14-16 ~ JOSH FOX … A young woman named Suzi walks up to the police barricade at the bridge on State Route 1806. She’s got lollipops and gum in her pocket. The police step out of their jeeps with their M-4 rifles, their body armor, in front of a row of LRADs—the noise cannons they use to disperse the crowd. She says, “I’m here to give you this candy.” She told me that she was going to kill them with love and hugs and sweetness. A little bit bemused, two soldiers hold out their hands. She says, “Give these to the cops that have good hearts. Don’t give them to the Dakota Access Pipeline workers. We’re praying for you. Even though you are not on our side, you’re human beings and we love you.” The police take the lollipops and bubble gum and say thank you.

Fearlessly, she walks back across the barricades, beyond the burned up trucks and cars. I say, “Aren’t you scared?” She says, “No.” I say, “Really?” She says, “What are they gonna do? Shoot me?” and I said, “Well, frankly, yes.” And she says, “Well, so what? I’ll take one for the team. I’m protected. I’m surrounded by love.”


Remembering the First Native American Woman Doctor
Born in a buckskin teepee on the Omaha Indian Reservation in northeast Nebraska on June 17, 1865, Susan was never given a traditional Omaha name by her mixed-race parents. Her father, Chief Joseph La Flesche (also known as “Iron Eye”), believed his children as well as his tribe were now living in a white man’s world in which change would be the only constant. “As the chief guardian of welfare, he realized they would have to adapt to white ways or simply cease to survive.”

Eight-year-old Susan La Flesche sat at the bedside of an elderly woman, puzzled as to why the doctor had yet to arrive. After all, he had been summoned four times, and four times he had promised to come straight away. As the night grew longer, the sick woman’s breathing grew fainter until she died in agony before the break of dawn. Even to a young girl, the message delivered by the doctor’s absence was painfully clear: “It was only an Indian.” Contine reading <span style=”color:blue;”> http://www.history.com/news/remembering-the-first-native-american-woman-doctor

11-20-16 ~ Paige MaGia STANDING ROCK IS A WAR ZONE

11-20-16 ~ Carlos Marroquin … Off To Standing Rock N.D. Winter Supply Run Copilot Jazmynn Mata’afa from gold Coast Australia repping her pacific islanders in their support . . . . 25 hours 35 minutes 1651 miles to Camp…

11-20-16 ~ Kate Bettesworth‎ ….Hello fellow Rainbow Warriors. I feel I must tell you about the warmth and support I have witnessed in the last few weeks, whilst using the 6 Water Protector fb groups I belong to, to Stand with Standing Rock.
People around the world are coming together to stop the black snake and are reaching out with such love and solidarity- it is soul-warming stuff. I am most impressed by how this work is undertaken, totally from the HEART and never from the EGO. So lovely. Its like a group hug!!


11-20-16 ~ Kelly Merrick‎… I called the Morton County Police. They said they “appreciated my thoughts.” I asked them, “What will you do with my thoughts?”

They said, after a long pause, “What would you like us to do with your thoughts?” (I am guessing they haven’t heard this question before???)

I said, “I would like you to cease harassment, pepper spraying and shooting rubber bullets against the citizens of North Dakota in order to protect the profits of a Texas billionaire.”
All they could say was, “We appreciate your thoughts. I have to go now. (Click)”


11-19-16 LeRoy Pena … I got this photo off the wall of a DAPL worker who happened to have too much time on his hands,and decided to take selfies with the drilling equipment.He is pictured on the left with a “bore casing”.A bore casing is used to house the drill itself.So they plan to start drilling very soon.Bore casings are very expensive to lease,every day they don’t use it costs the company a lot of money.

11-18-16 ~ Annie Dant… Yesterday I was wearing my NODAPL/ I stand with Standing Rock shirt out while I ran errands and had a woman come up to me and ask me where/which website she could donate money to support them. I was really touched by this woman who took time to walk up to me simply because I was wearing that shirt. Another person gave me two thumbs up and another girl started a conversation with me about if there were any activists groups or supporters within SW FL regarding the pipeline. Three people acknowledged my shirt while I was standing in line at my local Comcast cable store and I realized then how one act, no matter how small it seems, can make a huge impact. I’m proud to wear this shirt. Very proud ❤️

11-18-16 ~ Jordan Chariton… Energy Transfer Partners CEO Kelsy Warren says they have offered to pay North Dakota and Morton County for expenses related to protests… “Now we have the greediest of oil executives—who has approved the digging up of sacred Native land and paid millions for private security mercenaries to unleash hounds on humans and assault unarmed water protectors—literally offering a BRIBE to North Dakota police to keep on bashing protectors’ heads in, illegally strip searching women, arresting people without reading them their rights, breaking people’s arms during arrest, withholding medicine from people they arrest, illegally breaking into people’s cars without a warrant, and stealing camera equipment.
Where the hell are you, Barack Obama?”

11-18-16 ~ North Dakota Cops Get ‘Doxed’ and Don’t Like It
The Morton County Sheriff Department — responsible for shoorting water protectors with rubber bullets, tear-gassing them, beating them, strip searching them, and jailing them in ‘dog kennel’s with Nazi type numbers written on their arms — says it has been ‘doxed.’

11-18-16 ~ Nicholas Arroyave-Howling Crane… Picture of me with Japanese delegation who showed their support for Standing Rock (traveling from Japan to get there).

11-18-16 ~ Redhawk … Thank you Morton County Sheriff’s for your concern at the end of the article. It’s good to know that after your civil rights, and human rights violations, pepper spray, rubber bullets, tasers, bean bag guns, sound cannons, low flying aircraft, psychological warfare, slander, lie, racism, and over all bigotry towards peaceful and prayerful water protectors, its good to know you are worried about our well being in the winter months. We won’t freeze. The fire in our hearts will keep us warm. Not to mention the fact we are surrounded by a culture of people that have learned to survive in this weather for thousands of years before you showed up. We’re good.
tattle tails – Redhaw


11-18-16 ~ -Redhawk (Ryan Vizzions) … Today, my photo “Defend The Sacred” was released as a 2 page spread in NEWSWEEK. Very humbled to help spread awareness of the militarization of police along with civil and human rights violations taking place here at Standing Rock. The photo caption is entitled “Killing The Black Snake”, and that’s exactly what we are going to do. We will not be stopped.


11-18-16 ~ John Dixon‎ … We are part of Creation, thus, if we break the laws of Creation we destroy ourselves. We, the Original Caretakers of Mother Earth, have no choice but to follow and uphold the Original Instructions, which sustains the continuity of Life. We recognize our umbilical connection to Mother Earth and understand that she is the source of life, not a resource to be exploited. We speak on behalf of all Creation today, to communicate an urgent message that man has gone too far, placing us in the state of survival. We warned that one day you would not be able to control what you have created. That day is here. Not heeding warnings from both Nature and the People of the Earth keeps us on the path of self destruction. This self destructive path has led to the Fukushima nuclear crisis, Gulf oil spill, tar sands devastation, pipeline failures, impacts of carbon dioxide emissions and the destruction of ground water through hydraulic fracking, just to name a few. In addition, these activities and developments continue to cause the deterioration and destruction of sacred places and sacred waters that are vital for Life. – Chief Looking Horse

11-17-16 ~ Kieran Behan‎… Over 300 communities around the world demanded a halt to the the Dakota Access pipeline during an international day of action.

Berlin was one of them ❤
We are watching one of the most diverse and powerful tribal actions in our history unfold before our eyes!

In the midst of the growing global water crisis we can not let pipelines endanger the clean drinking water that billions of people depend on.

Climate change is REAL, it is caused by human behavior, and it is causing incredible devastation.

Indigenous communities around the world are at the center of the climate crisis- fighting for their lands and upholding a sacred commitment they have with the earth since the beginning of time.
Future generations will look back on us during this critical moment and wonder what we did to take a stand.

"These sites must be protected, or our world will end, it is that simple. Our young people have a right to know who they are. They have a right to language, to culture, to tradition. The way they learn these things is through connection to our lands and our history."

11-17-16 ~ ‎Robert Ferguson‎… Now we know why the cops went in busting heads. DAPL was planning on quickly and cleanly pushing through construction without getting the proper permits. DAPL was planning on there being so much pressure from the state of ND and its federal politicians that construction would not be halted. DAPL figured a few Natives in their way would be no problem. DAPL figured wrongly. A few Natives that the cops beat up so construction could rush right on thru, got all you people mad and you came to the rescue of the Natives, and now, now construction is halted. The crooked politicians can’t weasel around the law, and the federal Army Corps of Engineers isn’t going to issue the permit without a long drawn out Environmental Impact Statement, which the politicians were hoping they could skirt, cause they knew an EIS would be a huge problem. Thanks to the Sioux and the people like you that believed, DAPL is at a complete standstill.


11-17-16 ~ Tara Houska _ Indigenous Activist… NYC. 29 arrests of peaceful demonstrators in front of the Army Corps of Engineers Office after this.

And from the Army Corps in NYC today: “You’ve made yourself heard. The corps of engineers is re-looking at this. So just by your stand, we’re going to go back and take a look and make sure we’re doing the right things. And that is directly a result of what you guys are all doing.” –Larry Mazola, North Atlantic Division, U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, United States Department of the Army.

11-17-16 ~ Howaste Wakiya… Sisters n Brothers…if cant make it realize Standing Rock is every where…when u go to ur faucet u are at standing rock…when u drink from ur plastic bottle u r at standing rock…everywhere u go u will find this battle…so help us change this picture from where u r! Prayer has many forms and is wide reaching

11-16-16 ~ PBS… “And what happens to the protesters at that point? I mean, the ones that I have spoken to said that they are not going anywhere and that they’re building shelters for the winter and they’re going to wait this out.”: KELCY WARREN: “…if they want to stick around and continue to do what they’re doing, great, but we’re building the pipeline.”


11-15-16 ~ Bucky Harjo … Indigenous Youth Council lead a prayer march to the river and we made a medicine wheel. I walked to the river three times today. Now on my way to see Rob Kennedy Jr. Or someone like that. My legs might fall off! Another beautiful day. We are going to win this and end this! Keep your prayers strong!!!!

11-15-16 ~ Bravebull Allard told Front Line Defenders… She quickly added that the answer is clear: “They want to wipe our footprints off the earth. They are trying to say we don’t exist. We are indigenous people to this land. We have the roots going right out of our feet. We belong here”.

11-15-16 ~ Tara Houska – Indigenous Activist… We were Zip-Tied & Locked in Dog Kennel for 6 Hours for Protesting Dakota Pipeline

“UPDATE 11-16-16 on police treatment of activists at the Standing Rock standoff, Tara Houska, national campaigns director for Honor the Earth, describes how she was “arrested for criminal trespass as I was leaving a peaceful demonstration and getting into my car on a public road.” She says police handcuffed her with zip ties and held her in a dog kennel for six hours without charging her with a crime”


11-14-16 ~ Oceti Sakowin Camp … Yesterday the Bismarck Tribune reported on the fact that Cannonball Ranch IS in fact a known burial ground– special thanks to CAROLINE GRULSKIN & everyone at the Tribune for the hard work & integrity bringing this article forward.

11-13-16 ~ Dallas Goldtooth… If an article I post or words that I say or photo that I share offends your privilege…or challenges your privilege…or threatens your privilege…
Then good.
Now ask yourself, “Why”?

11-12-16 ~ Prolific The Rapper … Eryn Wise from the International Indigenous Youth Council on yesterday’s excessive use of force and reports that officers broke one of the youths wrists, Lauren Howland by pushing her back with a baton. In addition to confiscated media equipment which appears to be an attempt to suppress the truth from getting out. #NoDAPL


11-9-16 ~ Navajo Code Talker George James Sr. dies at age 92
A World War II Navajo Code Talker died Wednesday morning at the age of 92. George James Sr. was born and raised in Red Valley on the Navajo Nation. At the age of 17, he volunteered to serve in the United States Marine Corps during World War II and was selected to become a Navajo Code Talker.

just scroll past the stories you’ve already read
News Articles and Updates ~ Oceto Sakowin
Nov. 2016 You Tube Video’s ~ Standing Rock
2016 You Tube Video Archive ~ Standing Rock
How You Can Help Standing Rock? #NODAPL
Standing Rock history
Without Water We Can Not Exist
Stories from the Frontlines ~ Standing Rock
Atrocities at Standing Rock and Police Weaponry
Trusted News Sources ~ Standing Rock
Standing Rock Camps #Water Is Life

Before I was Me

Authored by Rudy TwoMoon
Kristeen Hernandez aka Lady2Soothe

RudyDeuceTruth questions “before I was me” and journeys through DNA and our shared humanity.

The so called illegals have more rights to this land than many of the occupiers of today. We are Indigenous. The border crossed us, not the other way around. Before California became a state, we people were called Indians, then the land became the property of the USA, the people were then called Mexican. I’m Yaqui, Mescalero, Aztec, Mayan, Spanish, Scottish, and Basque . I may also carry African blood. I have ancestors on both sides of this invisible line. We traveled all the way up to Canada down to deep Mexico. Half of us got stuck wherever we were when that line was drawn. Some of my lineage fought with Poncho Villa and some fought against. I am history. I carry the stories in my DNA. I am from all over this great planet. Like everyone, I am the ancients.

Before I was me, I lived with lions and danced their songs. I was captured and shipped from Africa as a slave. Was bred with the Spanish and natives into a culture now called illegal.

Before I was me, I walked these sacred lands right here with the mammoth and traded sacred foods and medicines.

Before I was me, I traveled great distances on great ships, fought against the British crown and danced my pagan ritual.

Before I was me, I traveled from Basque to the Mexican pyramids and met the other parts of me. At some point generations later, we became what I am today.

I am a human, a creature from the stars. I contain the sun. I am the water. I am mud. My movements tell the ancient tale of my existence. My stillness echoes it. My children contain the secrets of their mother’s journey of then and now.

Our children are our ancestors.

Man Belongs to Earth

Authored by Rudy TwoMoon

Redwood 3

“Mother Earth can live without us, but we can’t live without her”…….might be a lie you have been programmed to believe. No, I don’t think this statement true. Out of fear, terror and the need to survive, we would destroy all that is left just to live just a little bit longer. We would claw and sever the last ounce of blood and die with her.

We do have a reason on this planet, and it may be in trade to provide life giving force to another. We at one time had agreed to be the oxygen to plants. Maybe our medicines were given to us for their survival.

How many millions of plant lives have gone extinct because the Redwood trees darkened the forest? What if trees at some point taught us basket weaving so we would always keep a space for their long term survival? What if they said to us, “without you keeping these spaces open for us to grow, another will move in, and one day we will be no more. We will make you a deal. We teach you how we may better your lives, to use us in a way for your survival, that we may live as long as you live.”

Maybe our actions have the potential to assist. Maybe you are important to the eco system on this planet. Maybe someone has taught you to regurgitate this statement for the purpose of self-defeat…

Accept without ego you have a rightful place on this wonderful planet. Accept you are important and can give….. by just being.

~something to think about.

Barriers, Borders, and Blood This is NOT My History

RudyThank you Rudy TwoMoon

If America is built from many nations, why is it offensive to be anything other than white?

Am I an enrolled member of my nation’s tribe? Nope. I’m Yaqui Apache, Mayan, and Aztec, on the Mexico side, even though Yaqui is recognized in Arizona. There is no paper trail for my family. It is Sad to think we need a card to prove our second rate subhuman citizen standard.

CruzMy dad’s mom who is full blood Mayan. She was kidnapped by a full blood Yaqui. He took her deep into Mexico and had 9 children with her. When he died, she married my dad’s dad who was also a full blood Yaqui and they moved back to Arizona.

My dad is the 2nd youngest of 11 kids. Many of my uncles tried to find out more information about our history. A few of them have passed on, from what I understand, and they knew more of the story and remembered the tribal life. My dad, at one point, asked his mom about the story and was refused an answer. Later, he found out from his older brother it was actually better to be a border jumping Mexican than it was to be Indian.

Think for a moment how bad a lot of Americans dislike Mexicans. Now imagine how bad it must have been to be Indian, to hide who you are and never talk about your past even to your own children.

If you ask most Americans what a Mexican is, they haven’t a clue. They believe a border was always separating “good, clean, wholesome Americans” from “dirty, bad, stealing, murdering Mexicans.” They haven’t a clue we would travel from the highest point of Canada to the lowest points of South America while trading, learning, giving, and even sometimes fighting.

Overall, most travelers were respectful to other customs and brought new medicines or food. Americans haven’t a clue about how the two rows of corn closest to a path was always dedicated to travelers and guests, not just in the South America, but almost everywhere.

They have no clue Mexico is native land! They have no clue Mexico is indigenous! The only difference between these 2 lands are, here in the USA, most of us were eradicated so slave owning families could separate themselves from a crown and thus avoid taxation.

In Mexico, the Black slave trade along with Spanish rape of indigenous people and Blacks created a beautiful new human who has been fighting assimilation for 520 straight years… just like us indigenous people here on this part of Turtle Island.

Rudy20-002If you ask many Americans what American culture is, they have no answer, because there isn’t one. They think tomatoes come from Italy, and the honeybee was always here. They think the turkey was brought to these lands, and the chicken is indigenous to the Americas.

If you ask an educated American where the first nations come from, they will more than likely state Africa, even though this has been disproven time and time again by even the occupier’s science.

Yes, even white science has proven the indigenous of this land have DNA unlike any other nation found on this planet. This proves we didn’t cross a land bridge to get here like the regurgitated 1902 theory demands you believe.

The occupier’s history would have you believe the Indian died out with the Woolly mammoth, and those who happened to survive by the graces of this government’s good will and fair democratic process, have preserved the Indian by fashioning him in the image of land and water rapists.

They would have you believe it is our own stupidity if we should wish to even consider going back to an uncivilized world without taxes, low paying jobs, or being able to step away from being a slave to the poisoned food system and a destroyed planet.

The education system needs us all to believe we were savage cannibals who were always at war with one another, so no one ever realizes the civilized world isn’t actually civil to any life form in the least.

AmeriKKKan education is a sickness which should be avoided at all costs, by everyone!

“Only a fool would allow his enemy to teach his kids.”—Malcolm X